this is the piece I finished back in July of 2014 that was 7 years in the making.
Its completion marked a time of great courage in my life and great transformation. Since then, I have walked on the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I connected with someone more deeply than I ever had before and stood seemingly on the verge of having every dream I had ever had coming true. I journeyed 4500+ miles on a most epic and magical roadtrip with them, welcomed them into every facet of my life, we planned a life and a future and then without word or comment I was left to watch it all be washed away.
I had made space in my heart, mind and home. I rearranged my life and home to make space for their arrival and then slowly was left to take back the cleared spaces as my own, alone, once more. I spent some time in darkness and found my way back out with the help of friends. I lost much of the self-sustaining motion I had worked so hard to create in my businesses and life and it has taken me several weeks to regain my footing in the business world and restart the engines of creation in my creative and spiritual worlds.
I experienced a phone crash, a computer crash and an external hard drive drop that lost all of my files for the last seven years, as luck would have it, I found the first 3 years, and with the help of my son and his very computer literate friends a bit of the last four, but far from all. I am working now to rephoto all the original art images of the last four years which are gone and must either be retaken or just stay as memories.
A new person came into my life at the turn of the year and literally set it on fire for a very short time and through that experience I found myself again as all that I was so very many decades ago prior to being taught fear and the stance of a victim. I will forever be grateful for this gift.
What can you say about a period of 11 weeks that completely remakes you in a new image that does not make complete sense even to yourself in this moment, except, "okay, lets see what we can do now?".
During this period of extreme loss and sadness, I found a potential location for my back-to-nature hopes to manifest, and a possibility of teaching art and a radio station with a best friend from my teens. I was restored by the love of friends and spent five weeks being astonished again by the wisdom and kindness that is the natural state of being for my 22 year old son. My IT issues are being repaired, more rapidly each day now. I have found the beauty in the last year and all its gifts, as well as the ability to hope again. My other business, working with seniors, has been set back on track and I booked more work in the last 24 hours than I have in several months. The manual I wrote has received orders and is being shipped next Thursday. Ads for it are going on social media later today. I have had art in a continuous series of gallery shows through all of 2014 and I just dropped off new work for the first show of 2015 a couple days ago. I illustrated a complete children's book commemorating the 100th Anniversary of the Armenian Genocide and one family's tale of survival and it is being looked at for national/international release. I began teaching more art to seniors and am now receiving requests to teach for all ages. I was invited to submit for jury to a very prestigious and potentially lucrative art show in April, to a sale in March and another gallery show in May. I learned that my son will be performing in our nation's capitol with the National Symphony in August on the main stage at the Filene Center as a member of the Wolftrap Opera company.
There are two pieces of art waiting to occur now on my table. One, which must happen first is a recounting in image my past year's experience. The other is the 2015 logo for PSG, a magickal imaging of their past 35 years.
Most importantly, through all, despite many desires and opportunities to do otherwise, I behaved in a manner that was honest and honorable, and I leave the situation with no regrets. I have found recently that sometimes the best you can hope for is the ability to be comfortable looking yourself in the mirror each morning.
On we go into 2015. May it be a year filled with peace, happiness and health. May the experiences of this year come with less pain and more learning. May we all be happy to have walked it when it is complete.
there is a story...
an old man is walking along a long stretch of beach
in the far distance he sees someone doing what appears to be a strange dance
as he gets closer he realizes that the young man he is watching is throwing starfish back into the ocean
When he gets near enough to be heard, he asks what he is doing
the young man explains that when the tide comes in, the starfish are stranded on the beach
and if they stay there out of the water until the next high tide, they will die.
The old man finds this a foolish activity and tells him so
"young man", he says, "there are 1000s of starfish and 100s of miles of beach, what you are doing cannot possibly make a difference".
They young man picks up the next starfish and hurls it into the sea.
"it did for that one" he says.
May we never forget that our actions affect each and every one we come in contact with, that they matter, and that how we treat others truly makes a difference, not only in their lives, but in our own.